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Re: I Love You

Posted by Susan47 on May 9, 2005, at 18:44:31

In reply to Re: I Love You » Susan47, posted by Toph on May 9, 2005, at 17:50:47

I understand.
I was the same way.
But now I know this, Toph, and you know it too: there is no love greater than that of a child to his parent, and because of that love, we can get away with murder, and many parents do, you know that. And in your love for your son, you also see yourself, your failed self.. no, that's me. In my love for my chilren. No. I'm going to use "you" okay because it feels more poetic, and more right to me, but know that I'm really talking about my own experience, when I say this Toph. Looking at your son you see more than one thing. You see someone you love deeply, but you also see that you are in him, and because of that you know your love isn't as deep for him as it could be, because you haven't yet loved and accepted yourself. Because you're still mad at your Dad for not loving you properly, and you know that you're part of Him, and as long as you're mad at part of him you're going to be mad at the part of you that comes from him ...
Whatever.
You get me, right?
And it's as easy as this; let him love you. Just let him. You've loved him from birth, and the seed was planted by you. You have to learn to sit back and enjoy the fruit from that planting, the love planting ... don't be impatient with your kids. That's one of my biggest lessons to learn. When I showed I had every confidence my daughter could do anything, when I really believed it in my heart because I really believed that I could as well, that's when she suddenly bloomed.
We worry too much about our own flaws, and we forget about the beauty of our children's love. They look up to us for everything, absolutely everything, for a long time. We have to learn to enjoy that, and feel honoured, because soon they're adults too and the way they remember us is extremely important. We don't have to be perfect but we definitely have to be honest.
And if we don't like ourselves, they're going to learn not to like themselves.
I'll bet your Dad doesn't like who he was either. Well, maybe he's like mine, maybe he wouldn't change a thing. I don't know. Sigh.


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