Posted by fallsfall on March 23, 2005, at 11:52:31
In reply to Re: I am just not well, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 10:27:48
It gets so complicated, doesn't it? Is it the Diabetes or the Depression? Does one make the other worse? Does one keep you from effectively treating (or even managing) the other?
It is so frustrating to feel lousy - whatever the cause is.
Try to be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself as you are able (and don't beat yourself up about the care taking that doesn't happen). Give yourself space.
And recognize the moments that *are* good. 5 minutes of cuddling with a puppy. 10 minutes reading with your son. 15 minutes forgetting sleep. When I have my short (very short) bursts of "good", they remind me that I *am* still capable of "good". Sometimes it seems like I go months without any "good" time, but then I'll have minutes (or dare I even hope for hours?) that keep my hope alive.
The latest real funk I was in, I had pain all over my body from tension. I couldn't relax because I hurt. I couldn't stop hurting because I couldn't relax. Eventually, my doctor told me to walk - even though it hurt. And I was so desperate that I did. Just around the block - not a big commitment (though it seemed like a lot for me...). The dogs loved it. And I did a 20 minute Yoga tape. It really has made a difference. I'm not always good about doing them - it got cold and snowy and I didn't feel like walking - our schedules changed and the time I used to do the Yoga disappeared. But I try to pick them up when I can, or when the pain and tension starts to return.
Your "solutions" will be different. But maybe you can find a way to tip the balance and regain a bit of control. Control is a nice thing to have.
Also look at the other circumstances in your life, and recognize how they are affecting you. Your dad, the time of year, etc. Sometimes you just have to stumble through the hard times until you come out the other side. I believe you will stabilize - I have seen you grow in the last 2 years. Growth always ebbs and flows. It will get better again.
Until then, I have unlimited hugs, and we will always listen.