Posted by Susan47 on March 20, 2005, at 12:41:00
In reply to Addiction/obsession to suicidal thoughts, posted by Shy_Girl on March 19, 2005, at 20:50:03
> I'm hoping someone who has experience with my type of addiction can give me some pointers.
>
> I really don't want to kill myself...even when I think I do, I think that somehow I don't think I will be 'dead' when I do. I don't really want to actually be dead, I just want to start over.> Anyways, I've gotten over some suicidal urges and now I'm sure I want to live, but yet I can't stop myself from reading pro-suicide sites and newsgroups. I'm getting support and detailed info for suicide, yet at the same time I'm actually much better right now. I even replied to someone's request for a suicide partner who lives in my province! Eeek...I'm afraid that someone will somehow convince me to kill myself now. How do I handle this???
You just want to start over. You just said that. You don't really want to die? Well, maybe you could find a belief system that works for you, like, God exists and if I commit suicide I'll go to hell, do I REALLY WANT to spend Eternity in HELL?
Or, perhaps, there is NOTHING after death, NOTHING, this is all I have, this moment right here, right now, is all I will Ever Have.. what does that mean to me?
Think of ways you can Start Over... move, school, career, what? Caring for other people, taking risks and using the caring to help, finding out maybe what causes you to feel like you want to "die" and then helping others overcome the feeling too. Snap the band on your wrist to remind yourself of possibilities right here, right now. Maybe? If you suffer from depression, it'll be a challenge. Really. Just getting that rubber band on the wrist is, like, almost impossible. So maybe wait until the time you're feeling really good, and go, okay, now THIS is what I want always, get the rubber band on NOW and don't take that sucker off.
poster:Susan47
thread:473000
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20050316/msgs/473170.html