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Re: Shoot, it's almost 2 a.m. NOW I'm crying? » gardenergirl

Posted by 10derHeart on March 3, 2005, at 1:49:26

In reply to Shoot, it's almost 2 a.m. NOW I'm crying?, posted by gardenergirl on March 3, 2005, at 0:58:43

> Why is it when someone says something kind is when I am most likely to cry?

This is me all the time. I'd say the kinder and more caring it is, the more I know I'll break down if I keep listening and allowing it in. I think it's because...when we KNOW, in our heart of hearts, the words of compassion and caring are so genuine, so just right, they touch us in a deep place, just below where the painful dissapointment is trying to stay hidden, and help release it. It's rather abrupt, though. And the release, though needed, hurts, too, in a different way. Does that make some sense...if an intuitive, emotional explanation can make *sense?*

Alternately, I picture my daughter many years back, maybe around 18 months-age 2, upset but holding back, scared by something, scanning the room, then finding me. She'd run into my arms, to safety and love and comfort, and THEN burst into tears.

There's a bit (or a LOT, in my case) of that child still inside us. Perhaps without knowing it, when you posted to let us know whathad happened, you were *scanning the room.*

And GG, you are awesome. This apparently wasn't the right path. When you find it, and look back and realize how the pieces of this present diappointment fit, that will be a beautiful day. And it will come. But for now, this does suck. So I'm glad you can be both brave AND let yourself cry, too. Sounds awfully healthy to me ((gg)) :-) - 10der


 

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