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Re: the story continues... » alesta

Posted by Atticus on December 20, 2004, at 12:26:25

In reply to Re: the story continues... » Atticus, posted by alesta on December 20, 2004, at 0:57:42

“Um, your eucalyptus leaves, sir!” says the mountie quickly, handing the koala several branches.
“Thaaaaat’s right, thaaaaat’s right,” murmurs the cat, licking his chops. “Fatten’ ’im up, nice and plump. And someday, someday …”
“Here now. I heard that,” you say.
“Heard what?” answers the cat, casually inspecting his claws.
“You still want to eat that koala,” you respond.
“I never said any such thing,” protests the cat.
“Yeah? Then what’s that tranquilizer dart doing still protruding from his posterior?” you counter.
“Look, mate, it’s no business of mine where someone else gets a body piercing,” replies the cat. “Must be bloody awkward on the loo, though.”
“Strewth!” says the koala to the mountie, who is still standing in the brush with Melanie the moose. “Are those your trousers on her antler?”
“Well, um, I had to hang them up somewhere, sir, so they wouldn’t lose their crease while I looked for your eucalyptus leaves.”
“Hmm. All right, then. Good thinking. Let’s get back to the station.”
“Why don’t you go on ahead, sir,” answers the mountie, starting as Melanie gooses his bum. “I’ll take statements from everyone here and finish up the paperwork.”
“Good show,” nods the koala. You lift the koala onto the back of the horse. “How do I start this thing?” he asks.
“Just give it a nudge,” says the mountie.
The koala digs in his sharp claws, and the horse bucks. Everyone watches as the tiny form hurls through the air and lands in a marshy pond.
“Aren’t there salties in there?” asks your wife.
“What’s a salty?” asks the mountie.
You start to answer, “It’s a saltwater …” -- the lot of you hear the sound of two jaws snapping together – “crocodile.”
“Life is SO unfair!” protests the cat.
“It is a terrible tragedy that …” begins the mountie.
“How come he gets to eat the koala and I don’t?” hisses the cat. He turns to the mountie. “So, are you two going to have a roll in the hay or what?”
Melanie giggles and pulls the mountie back into the brush. The cat heads back to the house.
“And where are you off to now?” you ask him.
“Duh. To get the camcorder,” says the cat. “It’s the Internet for those two.”
“You think there’s a market for it?” asks your wife.
“In Canada? You joking? Of course,” exclaims the cat. So …


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