Posted by Toph on December 13, 2004, at 20:23:32
In reply to Re: Mother's Depression - -------- Hey TOPH??, posted by TofuEmmy on December 13, 2004, at 12:31:20
Thanks emmy for remembering my occupation but now I'm on the spot. I do have a few thoughts, though. First em I think your right about depression here. This self-neglect seems situational, temporal and psychological as opposed to "collecting" which is typically an obsessive-compulsive disorder. OCD collectors show limited improvement with medication and recidivism is extremely high without systematic vigilence by a third party. I could be very wrong here but an unresolved loss trauma coupled with a percieved life-threatening illness could put any of us over the top. Coercing her to clean could be very dangerous under this scenario. If she needs to improve her hygiene, and of course she does not, unless she has skin breakdown, my advise is that it be done by someone other than a loved one, say, at adult day care or a visiting nurse who can use her authority without damaging her fragile pride. As for Christmas, this cannot be accomplished by then, so either she doesn't come which she may prefer or she comes and someone insults her or the family gets together and agrees that mom is going to get some help but can't by Christmas and we are all going to try and pretend that she doesn't have BO.
I have some experience with this because my mom has horrendous halitosis from her hypertension medication. It even grayed her teeth horribly. None of us children or in-laws had the balls to confront her, and my dad, he's hever known how to handle my mom about anything let alone something like this. She either got told by someone or figured it out for herself because her teeth are white thanks to the new bleaching products and she has mouthwash which sadly has no benefit.
Anyway, in my work I see a lot of collectors, some collect specific things, some go out and bring treasures (to them, junk to us)into the house, some won't throw away used toilet paper because it has intrinsic value and my record is finding homes for 98 of 100 cats (2 died). Then there are some where I look at the bottom of the stack of newspapers, and damn if the earliset paper isn't dated shortly after the death of her husband or more likely her son who wasn't supposed to die before her. Depression, I don't need to tell many of you, can be incredibly incapacitating. It's the leading cause of reversible dementias with hydrocephalitis second, I believe. I don't know if thats what's going on here, but the good news is if it is depression its probably more treatable than OCD. But what do I know?
-Toph
poster:Toph
thread:428107
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041209/msgs/429113.html