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Re; We all beat it into them,

Posted by sunny10 on November 17, 2004, at 11:47:19

In reply to Re: Husband doesn't understand..how do I handle this? » tampagirl70, posted by partlycloudy on November 17, 2004, at 10:01:16

it's the only way to get through the day sometimes.

Our conversations usually go this way... I bring up a topic and how conflicted I am over it. You know what I mean, you KNOW the logic of the situation, but you cannot control your visceral reaction anyway. He was brought up in such a kind, loving, supportive family that he simply doesn't GET IT that my visceral reactions are "I'm worthless, I'm incapable, I was supposed to be aborted, I cannot DO this logical thing/ act this logical way". I explain that it is a constant battle in my head and I go to therapy (or went, past tense, anyway, sigh) to shoot for not HAVING this exhausting battle going on in my head.

Most importantly, IMO, I explain how much easier it will be for HIM to have a conversation with me that doesn't end with me thinking that "I'm stupid, have always been stupid, will always be stupid"..or, if I feel threatened, I run away.

If you explain it in a way that makes it about both of you, he will swallow it a little easier. And you're not lying. All of your interpersonal relationship will be smoother as time goes by in therapy...

Hope you don't mind me butting in my 2 cents...

-sunny10


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20041114/msgs/417080.html