Posted by octopusprime on September 7, 2004, at 0:24:42
In reply to But how do I fill my life with joy?, posted by Dinah on September 6, 2004, at 23:25:35
(sorry i got a brain like a jukebox - i heard "i got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart" - as sung by rod and todd flanders on the simpsons - when i read that post)
(also this is extremely long, feeling rambly)
well dinah, you prolific poster you:
if i knew how to fill up my heart so it was set to all joy, all the time, i wouldn't be posting here. ;-)
so take everything i say with a mountain of salt.
i just had a couple of pretty good days in a row. and in fact there was joy in them. let's do ten things that make me joyful:
1. dancing like nobody's watching
2. singing like nobody's listening
3. a good meal with good friends
4. a starry night on the beach
5. making music with strangers
6. a spontaneous unexpected happening
7. driving my little car too fast with the windows down
8. a breath of fresh air
9. working up an honest sweat
10. fart bombs! (ok that was just funny)i get a glimpse of joy sometimes dinah and it's never when i expect it. many nights i feel the joy when i am dancing ... when i become one body with the crowd ... when the musicians make me move and i move the musicians ... when i stop being in a place and start being in a moment ... when friends and strangers become one ...
i had a good dance last night. the kind of dance doesn't matter to me: last night it was a drum circle ... but i've had that moment when i was folk dancing, raving, disco, etc ...
joy that made the rest of the world fall away. exhilaration. the burning of a new memory into the recesses of the mind. honest sweat. collapse. sweet memories.
i stopped dancing for a little while. i stopped playing the music that made me dance. i started hanging around with stodgy old people that didn't dance. and the joy was gone. was it depression, plain and simple, was that why i stopped?
or maybe i didn't realize that it was music and dance that made me joyful ... i spent too long at home crying to my cure cds and forgot about the sheer joy music can bring ...
and i started playing the drums and sure enough the joy came back. not right away. i just kept going with it cause i liked the routine, i liked learning something new. and then the joy returned. it helped that i connected with some real life people that love what i love ...
the joy is in the human connections. the joy is in our pets. the joy is in being open to experience and love.
the joy is in not fearing pain, heartbreak, and loss. the joy is in playing on through the struggles and climbing another mountain another day.
i know skiers and mountain climbers and bikers and they all get the rush from their sport. they struggle through injury and pain and fear to get the adrenaline rush of that perfect run/climb ... to hit that peak ...
it's a confluence of factors. it's coincidence. we can't expect joy to happen. but we do have to be open to it, to going with the flow, to committing to the things and people and animals we love. we have to let go of all our old fears. make room for the new.
bah. against my better judgement i will submit this post. the hopeful part of my brain took over, my inner critic is telling me to rescind the post. so joy is fleeting i guess. but i was there. for a minute, for an hour, for a day. i'll hold that joy with all my heart, and hope i can remember it again in a black hour.
poster:octopusprime
thread:387433
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040830/msgs/387468.html