Posted by daisym on August 21, 2004, at 16:44:34
In reply to Re: I'm not OK..., posted by karen_kay on August 21, 2004, at 13:53:02
Thank you all for the supportive messages. You made me cry. I feel better just reading them. I'm not so alone after all.
I am counting the hours and days until I get to go home. I never thought I would feel like this. It truly makes me question why I ever allowed myself to explore these feelings, open up this side and release the memories. I mean, I know it was pushing up and out, but the combined grief of this intense attachment to my therapist and the realities of loving people who hurt you are too much for me. So "poof" there goes my illusion that I'm a strong person. AND, that I could put it away when I wanted to.
I don't know if it would have been any better if my therapist had been available to talk to through out this. Maybe having to contain it on my own was the best way. I'm exhausted and confused. I have no idea how I ever get started in therapy again. I'm terrified of being open and raw again. It isn't his fault, but I feel like I was left to deal with my confusing feelings about my dad on my own, all over again.
Ok, not totally on my own. Thanks for being around for me. You have have all meant so much to me and helped more than you know.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:379976
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040820/msgs/380484.html