Posted by starlight on July 29, 2004, at 11:22:38
In reply to Re: To JenStar, posted by Miss Honeychurch on July 29, 2004, at 8:58:37
Hi Jen,
You've got such a tough situation here. And you've got a lot of reasons to be concerned. One thing to remember is that there must have been a good reason for her boyfriend to break up with her, and maybe it has to do with her behavior patterns.The hard part is that you don't really need us to analyze her behavior, you need suggestions for how to end this without feeling guilty, without hurting her and with actions that try to make the best of this difficut situation.
First, I suggest returning the jewelry and saying, "I've done alot of thinking about this and feel very awkward accepting these types of gifts. I don't think our relationship warrants these types of gifts." Don't allow her to force you to keep them, this way, you get the upper hand.
Stop inviting her to functions. Tell her that your life has gotten so busy and that you think it's important for her own healing that she develop other friendships. Follow your intuition on her flirting with your husband. Usually if you're suspecting it, it's for a reason. If those tactics don't work, you may need to address it head on and be more blunt.
Good luck in all of this and I hope you're able to find a way to build some stronger boundaries. It's not your job to save her.
starlight
poster:starlight
thread:371845
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040725/msgs/372014.html