Posted by Emme on July 4, 2004, at 14:02:02
In reply to All I see is pain, posted by tabitha on July 2, 2004, at 23:11:10
> I look back, as far as I can remember, and it's just periods of different emotional pain. There's always some issue, some big source of it. These days the source of the pain is therapy. Before therapy, it was work, or other people, or other problems. Usually people. People who've hurt me or disappointed me, or they're just not there at all, or not there enough.
Oh jeez, that's so hard, to not be able to derive any pleasure from things in your past. I'm sure you already know that you're looking through the lens of depression, but I know it's hard to keep that in mind when you feel so rotten.
> I take a step back to look at this picture, and I see an isolated woman, alone in a house. The house is messy, she cries a lot, she doesn't keep very good habits. She has no visitors, she has no phone messages.
(((Tabitha))) Your image breaks my heart - I sometimes see something like that. Depression is so isolating. I second whoever wrote about making sure you talk to your pdoc. Make sure she/he knows how bad you feel. You may in fact need med changes. You've always struck me as having a great spirit. It's still in there!
I'm glad to see from one of yor other posts that you're trying to hang in there. Now....I will boss you around...do as I say.....breathe....put away just *one* item in your apartment.....eat a carrot so you can say you ate something healthy....do what Fallsfall would advise and eat ice cream....and paint your toenails an absurd color. Actually, I'm not trying to make light of how you feel - just keep trying to do things to provide yourself with some stimulation and distraction. And if you start to feel on the edge, do whatever it takes to stay safe.
Emme
poster:Emme
thread:362734
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040626/msgs/363053.html