Posted by cubic_me on June 21, 2004, at 8:55:20
I hate the way I feel. Every day waking up to the same dread inside. Feeling like I want to rip the insides from my body and tear them into shreads. Feeling that no physical punishment would be enough for me.
Every day is another one filled with fake smiles and small talk, while I'm thinking of death and razor blades, wondering how I'm going to make it through until I can sleep again - a pseudo death that is the only releif from myself until I get the courage.
Why have some humans evolved to still have these thoughts and desires? You'd think that any genetic predisposition would have killed itself off centuries ago.
To live or to die is such a hard choice when life gets this painful. Its a shame you can't be dead while you decide whether to live or not.
poster:cubic_me
thread:358522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040619/msgs/358522.html