Posted by fallsfall on June 17, 2004, at 7:40:26
In reply to Admitting to Hurt Feelings, posted by daisym on June 17, 2004, at 0:12:29
Wow. You were SOOO brave. I, too, am proud of you.
I'm so sorry that she couldn't understand. My guess is that your situation is so far from the world that she knows that she just couldn't grasp it. Maybe in the future, maybe she will be able to let this sink in, maybe she will bring it back up and be more open to hearing what you have to say. You certainly don't have to bring it back up.
This was a major step forward for you. Wow.
I know it didn't feel like it went very well, but now maybe if you do get into an emergency and you ask her for help she will have some kind of understanding that (even though she doesn't understand WHAT it is that is distressing to you), that she will understand that you need serious help from her NOW. I have to believe this is a good thing. In an emergency you could say something like "I told you about my past, and I know it seemed pretty foreign to you, but please trust that I am in an emergency now and I need you to ..." and tell her what you need.
I'm sorry she didn't understand. Understanding abuse is like understanding depression - if you haven't been there it is unfathomable. But maybe, over time, she will come to understand that even if she can't understand what happened, that she can understand that it was devistating for you. She also may take some time to lower the pedistal and see that, as competent as you always appear, that you are a real person behind all that with real pain.
No, don't bring it up again with her. I guess I'm just hoping that it will rattle around in her brain a little, and that she will gain understanding in time. I think that if SHE brings it up, that you should (cautiously) help her to understand what it means to you.
(((((...Daisy)))))...
poster:fallsfall
thread:357436
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/357501.html