Posted by Poet on June 12, 2004, at 15:25:26
One of my best friends just doesn't get how I feel. She keeps emailing me things like "lady of leisure, what a great day to be hanging outside."
What she doesn't get is it may be sunny outside, but inside my head it's dark and cold. She doesn't get that being out of work is making me more depressed. She also doesn't get that switching ADs wasn't the key to instant happiness. Waiting another month to see the pdoc and he'll up my dose if I need it is reality. A no harm agreement that is week to week with my T is reality. A suicide plan (not acting on it right now, I promise, no 911 calls) is reality.
Depression is not a choice, quiting my job before I was forced out was a choice, but being home with more time to think negative thoughts is not a vacation.
My husband is being supportive, but doesn't realize that for every *we'll get by* there's three *you need to get a job soon.* He said he understands that I'm not ready yet, but in a month, blah, blah, blah. I told him that my answer to where I want to be in five years is *dead.*
This is some rotten vacation.
Poet
poster:Poet
thread:356101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/356101.html