Posted by daisym on June 12, 2004, at 21:47:27
In reply to Depression is not a vacation, posted by Poet on June 12, 2004, at 15:25:26
I think people don't know what to say so they think they are helping you "see the bright side." If they haven't felt it, lived it or lived with it, it just doesn't look that bad from the outside. I often think if I just fell apart sobbing or screaming, my husband would understand. Instead I hide and he thinks I'm ignoring him.
Not working is hard even without depression. It messes with our perspective of who we are, who we were and what we are worth. But you are so much more than what you do for a dollar. Please believe that. I've seen it in your posts. There is a deep understanding of another person's suffering that is rare. You have so much to give.
Ignore those who are insensitive. Remember how scared your hubby probably is...both for your financial well being and for you. It takes a huge toll on a spouse to see suffering that they can't fix. Two years ago my husband was off on disability for 18months. He was sick, had surgery,etc. etc. When he was well enough to work, the interview process and explaining why he had been off, made him feel so worthless, he threatened everyday to end it all. I would drive in the drive way at night and feel like throwing up before I went in the house. I told my Therapist that I kept wishing for mood paint, so I would know what I was walking in to each night. You know, like mood rings...the outer color of the house would reflect the mood inside.
It isn't easy on either of you. Try to be a team. Hug him even when you don't want to. I bet he'll hug you back!
And, here is one from me too -- (((Poet)))
poster:daisym
thread:356101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040611/msgs/356202.html