Posted by SandyWeb on May 21, 2004, at 11:54:42
In reply to Re: Today was........ » SandyWeb, posted by partlycloudy on May 21, 2004, at 8:09:44
Hi again pc,
The library just delivered my order, and I've taken a real quick peek at "our" book. It's not a big book, so it shouldn't take very long to read. However, if I'm too slow for you (lol!), please read on ahead of me. I've never read this author before, so I'm hoping that he writes well. We'll find out together!
I'm still having a bit of a difficult day today. It almost feels like I failed myself AGAIN by not completing the plan yesterday. It seems that I set plans for myself (travel through Europe as a young adult, hike through the Swiss mountains as a young adult, build a career while with hubby, having a stable family life with hubby and kids, make the marriage work, complete University, enter in a nursing career, provide for my kids, etc), and then I constantly fail myself. I just never pull them off. I have a "loser" switch that gets turned on, and I don't have the fortitude to go on and thus turn into a "victim". And I hate that about myself. And by not following through with yesterday's plan, I feel like I've landed in the exact same predictament that I always MAKE for myself....that of feeling like a failure. And I just want to see success so badly....to strive for something and actually WIN for once. But I just don't seem to have the strength of character to achieve a goal. And now by not completing the "plan" yesterday, I feel as low as I ever have. It just reflects my inadequacies so starkly to me. Just stupid Sandra, trying to be something she's not...again.
Sorry for getting off topic there. I guess I should expect to feel this way today. Doesn't mean that I like it, though. *smile*
Well, I'm off to the grocery store. I have to pick up food and supplies for us. The cupboards are almost bare! And I think I'll also pick up a bottle for tonight. I received some movies from the library as well, so I'll get buzzed and comfy in my chair. Makes for a nice escape.
Let me know when you get your copy of the book.
Sandra
poster:SandyWeb
thread:327575
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040517/msgs/349243.html