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Re: married » Magdalena

Posted by kittycat on April 16, 2004, at 5:20:28

In reply to Re: married » sexylexy, posted by Magdalena on April 13, 2004, at 14:37:44

You sound exactly like me. We haven't met before. I've been coming here for a while now but have never had the courage to write before. Your story is so similar to mine that I had to respond. My fiance of 5 years cheated on me with a friend (ex) of mine which led to my depression escalating and eventually a suicide attempt which landed me in hospital. My current boyfriend of nearly a year had to call the paramedics and basically saved my life. I feel so guilty that he is having to deal with the after effects from my previous relationship. I also worry that he will leave me one day. I find it difficult to give in completely because I am so scared of being hurt again.

> Hey Lexy, that is so me, i have only been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months but so many times i felt this way because i don't want him to have to deal with all this, my anxiety/depression the fact that i have to take meds/therapy....i just feel like he deserves someone who is normal and can go out anywhere and be up for anything without these invountary fears and sadness. He tells me support is what hes here for, he wants to be with me and says he has never been happier before, and reasures me that he wants to stick by me and help me get better...he's so sweet but sometimes it sits in the back of my mind, that one day he's just gonna get fed up and leave...just insecurities i know but i've always been a little apprehensive about relationships, it could be because i come from a broken home or it could be because my ex boyfriend of 5 years was unfaithful to me and broke my heart and possibly my faith. I try to see it this way, that the faith part is up to me, that its in my hands, i choose to have faith and be positive despite the negatives that i have had to deal with, i tell myself that everybody goes to some degrees of hurt and thats what makes us human. I just need to learn to accept and not overanalyze situations that most likely will never occur and so it’s pointless to get all upset over them. Easier said than done but i think i am slowly getting better with this...
>
> Im happy to hear that you are almost done school! Home in 9 days eh? such a wonderful feeling it must be, you deserve it!
>
> Have a great day, sorry for the babble, just could relate to what you said.
> ;)
>
> Mag


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