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Dog and Cat Diaries

Posted by Susan J on March 18, 2004, at 8:18:37

My friend just sent this to me. Thought it was funny. :-)

Diary
As seen in a dog's diary:

8am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh boy! A walk! My Favorite!
11am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
1pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
2pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
3pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
5pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

------------------------------------------------
As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded! -- must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly.
I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...


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poster:Susan J thread:325564
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040316/msgs/325564.html