Posted by antigua on February 18, 2004, at 13:50:58
In reply to Re: Teenager late (AGAIN) for school » Tootercat, posted by Karen_kay on February 18, 2004, at 13:09:43
My son is the night owl--he's up til 2 or 3 every night and even later sometimes on the weekend.
Yes, he's late to school.
When he was in elementary school he walked to school--literally a one-minute walk. He would slide into school just as the bell was ringing. I don't know how he did it--it always seemed like he was late when he left here. Sometimes he would get marked late. If a teacher mentioned it to me, I told them to talk to my son directly.
We have to drive him to high school now so my husband is always waiting on him, fuming in the car because there's always a lot of traffic. He has to be there at 8:15 and he doesn't even get up until 7:40 or later, and he has a long shower and is slow as molasses (and very unpleasant to be around in the morning, like me!)to get out the door w/his breakfast. I gather that he rarely makes it to home room, but his first class is English, (his favorite subject) so he seems to manage to get there on time. If not, I haven't heard from his teacher. And this is a kid who gets very upset if WE are late.
I've talked to him about this a lot. He's a good student so I can't jump on his grades. I told him that I loved him too much to keep yelling at him to get out of bed in the morning and that it was his responsibility. He told me he doesn't even start to think about getting out of bed until he has been yelled at three times. So now I start telling him it's time to get up that much earlier. Once I even changed his clock in the night--he was angry, but he got my point. It is up to him to get up. If he's late, it's his responsibility to deal w/the school. If he flunks a subject, oh well, it's his fault. I told him I would help him in any way that I can, but it's up to him. So, we run on his time in the morning.
That said, I'm a big fan of bribery, especially with this son. I reward him for good things, and for him doing things I want him to do sometimes that he originally has no intention of doing and later ends up enjoying.
Would bribery work w/your daughter? If she makes it to school on time five days in a row, she gets XX? Or something like that?
Also, does she have a problem w/math? Does she like it? Is it easy/difficult for her? How would she feel if she really flunked math? Could she make it up? Would she have to go to summer school? How would she feel about that?
Maybe next year you could request a schedule that gives her an elective first thing in the morning instead of a core subject like math.
If everything else fails, maybe she should see a counselor? Maybe she is angry about something and this is her way of expressing it? Maybe the two of you could talk to someone together and develop a plan that works for both of you?
It's no fun to have to be the nagging mother. I hate it, but I think it comes w/the territory. My son knows that he has a lot of independence compared to some kids, and he knows that if he abuses my very limited number of rules, he will lose some of it (like deciding when to go to bed). Going to school is his job, not mine.
But that's just my kid. He's definitely an independent one.
Good luck,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:315042
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040209/msgs/315176.html