Posted by Angielala on February 5, 2004, at 9:02:31
So I have been having a very low- low lately. one thing that has come out of it is that I see that my OCD is a cushion for when I enter a low.
My OCD is NOT the cleaning type, it's more repetitive thought and needing to keep my hands busy so they won't re-arrange lint in my pocket all day.
So I have this weird fascination by doing jig saw puzzles- trying to do them without thinking or planning.. and trying to do them fast at the same time. Sort of letting my fingers pick pieces up and put them in the right place without even looking around- very odd, I know, but so calming for me.
Second fascination, candles. Watching them burn, making sure they burn well.
Third, re-potting and pruning my plants. When I'm having a low, my plants become so important- I must groom them and make sure that they have the best living quality possible.
Forth(ly)- looking through TV shows, trying to count how many "little people" there are on TV. I have a phobia or something of little people (much like I do clowns, but not nearly as threatening as clowns) but i try to force myself to watch them and learn about them. Discover Channel has some great documentaries about the science behind little people that I made myself watch three times in a row... On Demand (like TiVo) is bad bad bad for OCD people, haha) Then I caught a little person on American Idol and almost called all my friends to let them know... then I stopped, thought about it- none of my friends are watching American Idol- and I wasn't about to hint at them that *I* would ever watch that kind of TV show- hahaha. Little people are everywhere.
Anyways, OCD is sort of helping me right now, in this low low place. It's like I'm a 5 year old who just saw a really scary movie and OCD is my blanket that makes me feel safe for a while. Never thought of my OCD in such a positive light before now. Guess my body doesn't totally hate me :)
poster:Angielala
thread:309682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040131/msgs/309682.html