Posted by Angielala on January 27, 2004, at 12:24:20
In reply to I think I need help, fast., posted by daydreamer on January 27, 2004, at 11:20:55
Daydreamer-
I am so sad to hear about your night.I know that kind of anger and that foolish feeling that follows it. First- don't feel foolish- you obviously had a lot built up and just had to release it. The fact that you felt that foolish feeling is almost like a sign that you really didn't want to hurt yourself, but instead you were looking for an outlet, and making the hurt into something physical maybe have been the outlet you decided to try.
You are in a dark place right now, but please know it won't always be so dark. Do you see a doc regularly at all?
Please keep talking- let us know how you are and your thoughts- we will get you through this. We have been there so many times... and it always gets better- despite what that naughty voice in your head is saying. You are going to be okay.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((day)))))))))))))))))
That's a big hug from me. :)
>
>
> Last night..
>
> I lost it.. for the first time in years.
>
> I was screaming at my partner while she was out side and I was in the car. I started slamming things- my head-- my fist..
> I couldnt hold it.
>
> I sped off.. almost hitting an ambulance and then almost turning over my van.
>
> I sped into a parkenlot.. parked it and cried..
>
> All of a sudden I reached for a cd-- and broke it in half. I kept slicing it against my wrists... and kept slicing.. and kept slicing.. to the point my wrist was swollen and numb.. and bleeding at random spots..
> But it wouldnt break past the skin into the main vein, and its all I had... I wanted it so badly..
> Now I feel so foolish..
>
> I dont want to go to my clinic.. they may see me as a threat to myself.. and lock me up.
>
> I dont know what to do..
> I dont feel threatning today..
>
> I just started my 2nd pill of Lamictal (50mg) a day about a week and a half ago.
>
>
> I dont know what I feel.
>
> What do I do????
>
>
poster:Angielala
thread:306031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/306054.html