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I think I need help, fast.

Posted by daydreamer on January 27, 2004, at 11:20:55

Last night..

I lost it.. for the first time in years.

I was screaming at my partner while she was out side and I was in the car. I started slamming things- my head-- my fist..
I couldnt hold it.

I sped off.. almost hitting an ambulance and then almost turning over my van.

I sped into a parkenlot.. parked it and cried..

All of a sudden I reached for a cd-- and broke it in half. I kept slicing it against my wrists... and kept slicing.. and kept slicing.. to the point my wrist was swollen and numb.. and bleeding at random spots..
But it wouldnt break past the skin into the main vein, and its all I had... I wanted it so badly..
Now I feel so foolish..

I dont want to go to my clinic.. they may see me as a threat to myself.. and lock me up.

I dont know what to do..
I dont feel threatning today..

I just started my 2nd pill of Lamictal (50mg) a day about a week and a half ago.

I dont know what I feel.

What do I do????


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poster:daydreamer thread:306031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/306031.html