Posted by LynneDa on January 21, 2004, at 14:06:00
In reply to Any good parenting resources for people like me?, posted by socialdeviantjeff on January 17, 2004, at 23:38:04
Hi Jeff - I'm the one who wrote you about my ex-husband and his depression & OCD. I'm depressed myself, only not so much!
Anyway, our daughter is 7 and she knows Daddy is not always mentally up and plugged in to the world. We've told her that Daddy just gets sad and overwhelmed sometimes and needs some help with it. She seems to accept that and I think it's good for her to know that when you have problems in life you accomodate to try and solve them.
She is in a "divorce class" at school and the counselor has been very helpful (& free!) in talking about these types of issues. There should be a counselor at your daughter's school and you should be able to speak with him/her, if you are comfortable with sharing at this time.
Her Dad & I agree that our biggest goal with her is that she not feel responsible for when Daddy is sad & that it's not her job to fix him (a trap I fell into, of course!). Additionally, we try to teach her that identifying and talking about feelings is ok, it's preferred actually. If we both didn't have mental health issues, this would not even come up, so that is a blessing in disguise I guess! Kids can be very accomodating as long as they know what the rules are and that it's not their fault.
Sorry this is so long, but felt I needed to share this with you. Good luck & hang in there buddy!
~ Lynne
poster:LynneDa
thread:302185
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040120/msgs/303792.html