Posted by DaisyM on January 18, 2004, at 21:51:08
In reply to Re: Any good parenting resources for people like me?, posted by antigua on January 18, 2004, at 11:10:39
I feel for you but Antigua is right, Kids know EVERYTHING eventually. I think talking about feelings and the brain is really important. That way your child will begin to develop a vocabulary for your illness.
I would highly recommend you read "Touchpoints", it will clue you into developmental stages you might encounter. This is important because you need to understand the emotional development process so you know how to react to her and/or what to share and how to do that. I also like "emotional intelligence". It clues you into personalities and ways to encourage resilience.
I really resisted talking to my son (who was 11) about how seriously ill his dad is (physically). My son developed anxiety and when I found out what he told his therapist he knew and was afraid of, I was shocked. You just have to keep reading where they are and be open with them. Don't let anyone give you that QUALITY time crap. Kids simply want TIME with you. period. Doesn't matter if you just sit with them, read to them, watch movies with them or play basketball. It is being with them that they care about. It also helps if there is something they can do for you (pictures to make you smile when she isn't there?). It gives them power.
It is hard. Parenting is the hardest job ever. But given the importance of it, shouldn't it be? I'm impressed that you want to learn. Be kind to yourself.
poster:DaisyM
thread:302185
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040109/msgs/302489.html