Posted by Larry Hoover on November 25, 2003, at 8:30:59
In reply to This is fun, posted by Jai on November 24, 2003, at 21:16:53
> > I have both kinds. I know what you mean.
> >
> Well, I never thought of that keep both friends....hummm. novel idea.I have many of my "therapy friends" who call, even after many years... The others, I call them too.
> > > I have a poem called "Home is Where the Fear is"
> >
> > I don't know I want to read that, or not.
> >
> It's a very heavy poem, I read it at my women's circle and they were impressed. recently I re-read it and it's a deep, terrifying ride.You wrote it, or...?
> > That's a lovely bit of prose, that.
> >
> You sound so Irish. I just finished an Irish novel, "Reading in the Dark" by Seamus Deane. It's a good read.Not Irish...pure Canuck...like there is such a thing. One of my grandpas came over from the Hebrides (Scotland).
> > One episode, I was simply near catatonic. I was warehoused (hospitalized) for that one.
> >
> what did that feel like to be housed inside of?It was irrelevant. I was fed, medicated, and pushed to bathe until they didn't have to push me, then <phoomp> out ya go....
> My mother was catatonic after my birth...for months. I am so curious how that must have felt. what does the world look like?
It shrinks to nothing. I can speak from lesser but similar events. The "event horizon", the boundaries of what seem real, just get smaller and smaller. Fewer and fewer outside influences have any bearing whatsoever. Eventually, nothing matters at all. Not even survival impulses. It's a darn good thing breathing isn't a conscious act.
> Another was quite different....I was active physically, but I was so suicidally fixated that I could not look at anything without interpreting it as an agent of my death. More than that, I'd have trouble expressing in words.
> >
> This is ugly. I must admit, I too have pondered the exit mucho. It's only recently that I can say that it's not an option anymore. Never thought that would happen.Hallucinating the process along with seeing the object is not fun. The imagery was as present as the object.
> > Oh, OK. Reiki or similar. I do that (but not recently, come to think of it). Again, a funding issue.
> >
> I got a free hour of Reiki...wow. I loved the relaxation. Money, money, money, it's such a hurdle to get over.Reiki is cool. But it very much matters the practitioner.
> > I don't have any health insurance. I get basic medical care free (I'm in Ontario),
> >
> oops! You are further North....by far.I KNEW that.
> I am in the states but abutting Canada.
It is a Canadian past-time to tut-tut when Mericans speak of what winter is like "up north", when they are referring to e.g. Nebraska or Maine.....All of Canada is north of that, eh?
> Not really too far from you.
I drive truck down the 1-81, I-75 and I-69 corridors, as well as up through Wisonsin via Chicago, and New York state via Buffalo. On which route shall I wave, as I pass by?
> I am originally from Wisconsin.
The Dells....that's gorgeous.
> some of my ancestors are from Canada/ Ireland. You know the famine...the death boats that came into Canada refused entry into New York harbor.
Well, I'm glad your ancestors made it.
> > > > PTSD permanently changes your biochemistry, if it arises from childhood
> > You won't find that in any textbook (yet), I wouldn't think, but laboratory experiments involving primates have demonstrated that if a persistent or recurrent critical stressor occurs during a developmental window (crudely analogous to a good chunk of human childhood), the biochemical response to subsequent stressors is not only different than that of unstressed individuals, but it remains different for the rest of the life span. I believe that many of the poorly explained disorders of adulthood (multiple chemical sensitivity, fibromyalgia, certain forms of arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, irritable bowel, and some psychiatric disorders in the mood/anxiety spectrum) arise as sequelae of childhood trauma. PTSD may be easier to link directly to childhood trauma, but the others are secondary sequelae, IMHO.
> >
> wow this is harsh. I am so sad that I may be changed beyond my control. Oh well.Not beyond control. Made different. Different rules apply. But, without that insight, treatments may be very inappropriate, or a waste of time.
> > I had a reference to the research on my old 'puter. I'll see if I can dig it up again.
> > I would be every so appreciative.
> >
> Once again, thank you Lar for being so responsive and interested. I am touched.
> JaiI am too.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:282544
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031124/msgs/283571.html