Posted by sienna on November 12, 2003, at 18:24:50
hi there,
wow you are such a good writer. didya know that?
im sorry things suck sometimes. i think the grass is often greener though...i wish i were beautiful, but then sometimes its better to be average. well, i guess i dont know ive never been beautiful maybe it would be better.
im nonsensical today. i know what you mean about feeling like a mental patient. i accidentally got sent to the hospital a while back for hallucinating something and going to the ER for some meds, tod them what i hallucinated next thing im on a 72 hold in a hospital with no decent veggie food to eat and nothing to read but a Readers digest from 1987.
oops I digress...what made you go to the bathroom and cry? did you feel better after? sometimes i love to cry. its the only time I feel totally human. even though its painful. or something is wrong with me maybe...
anyhhoo how are ya now?
Sienna
you posted:
I endured a family dinner. My brother brought a friend; a groupie that grew up in Topanga. Typical california girl, but I couldn't dislike her. She was beautiful and happy and bursting through the seams with life force. I went in the bathroom and cried.
Not that I want to have seen The Rolling Stones 18 times. But it seems like you have to be from another planet to be that happy. Either that or have very rich parents, or be very physically beautiful--which she is--which may afford someone an entirely different kind of life.
And I actually felt ok about myself when I left the house, after I'd changed my clothes five times and checked in the mirror another 15. But sitting through dinner all I could feel like was a psychiatric patient.
poster:sienna
thread:276554
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031031/msgs/279135.html