Posted by Susan J on October 27, 2003, at 13:27:03
In reply to Re: People's Motivations, posted by Ilene on October 25, 2003, at 10:01:00
Hi, Ilene,
>It was only recently I discovered that some people don't like sarcasm.
<<Wow, this is interesting. See, I *always* think there's a nice person behind the incompatible behaviors...and I don't know how to get to them. Like, I immediately like you from your post. But if you were sarcastic to me a lot, I'd think you didn't like me, and I'd withdraw....I don't like a lot of sarcasm, and if it's at my expense, I get defensive. She is very sarcastic and cynical in general.
> Maybe she's like me, and sees the half-empty cup first? And talks faster than she thinks?
<<she's totally like this, and admits it.
> Maybe she's like me, and thinks that if she proves herself "superior" by finding everything beneath her standards, then everyone will look up to her, admire her, and like her?
<<I don't know about that....she dogs herself a lot, actually.
> Maybe she doesn't see herself doing these things, and she's frustrated by your rejection, but the only thing it occurs to her to do is more of the same?
<<Maybe. I just don't *know* the motivations. I thought she was a basically nice person, just with a personality that's doesn't mesh with mine at all. She definitely suffers from foot-in-mouth....It's just the insults are coming more frequently now, to the point I think they are intentional. And I don't know why. Don't know why *I* am worth expending all that energy on, be it positive or negative.So, how would *you* want someone to tell you that your behavior at times, is bothersome? I don't ever want to hurt someone's feelings and that's a big part of the problem.
However, Dr. Phil said on one of his shows to someone who feels the same as me (not wanting to hurt someone), how the hell did I get so *arrogant* as to believe my words would affect someone at all?
I liked that. :-) Makes it easier to calmly state that I don't like certain behaviors...And, since I've told her, calmly, that I prefer not to share personal information with her, she has totally left me alone!
Awesome...
Susan
poster:Susan J
thread:271851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/273967.html