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Stop Violating Boundaries? Long....

Posted by Susan J on October 22, 2003, at 11:07:28

I set myself up for this one. I know. It's all my fault. Any suggestions on damage control???

Background:

I hate my suite mate at work. Hate. She has *always* violated my personal boundaries and has none of her own. First day she worked here she told me of her divorce, her husband refusing to have sex with her, her anger management problems.

All well and good, but first day?

She stands in my doorway staring at me, she sits at my desk, she rifles through my desk, she sits and chats with me even when I ask her to go away. She listens in on my phone conversations. I know she can't help but hear, but she joins in! Private conversations (like with brother, something she has nothing to do with). She comes in and touches my hair. She's all in my personal business and hates it when I date a new guy, cuz she's bitter about her exhusband and seems to hate all men. She came in yesterday and told me in great detail about blood flow and stuff during her menstral period. Ewwww.

How can I be clear about TOO MUCH INFORMATION???

Anyway,

I told her I was doing this internet dating stuff, and sharing my mishaps, and she looked up my profile and read it to a couple of guys in the office!

Now, I'm not by nature a very private person, but that really *creeped* me out. I told her so (I was right there!) and she acted like *I* had the problem. ?

So, I will *never* tell her another thing in my life, but is there any way to tell her (politely) that I hate her and never want to speak to her again and I've tried to get my office moved 3x and they won't do it and why doesn't she get the *hint* I don't like her when I turn her down for going out to lunch *every* day??????

My therapist thinks this woman is attracted to me. I have no clue, but she's just way too in my face and weird. I've got to stop this, but my office dynamic is that everyone hangs out in her office and chats. I don't want to give that up cuz there are some folks I really like.

In fact, the last time my boss denied my request to move and told me I had to change my attitude, I've been pretty bitchy toward her, and she doesn't seem to mind at all! What gives? I've spent 2 years trying to be polite and professional to her even though she makes my skin crawl and daggit, if someone didn't talk to me and told me to go away, I'd get the hint!

Help?

Susan


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poster:Susan J thread:271851
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031020/msgs/271851.html