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Re: Any ideas on how to keep me sane?

Posted by octopusprime on October 4, 2003, at 12:58:05

In reply to Re: Any ideas on how to keep me sane? » Adia, posted by Wildflower on October 4, 2003, at 10:37:36

Wildflower - fallsfall is right, as always. There are those of us on this board who have lost loved ones, perhaps we can help you.

Your cousin did her best when she did this:
> She was supportive and listened but she really ddn't now how to help me...

I don't think anybody could help you right then, Wildflower. You just heard the devastating news that you lost somebody you loved. It hurts. There's no rescue, only recovery. Recovery will happen, but it's Wildflower's doing (with the help of supportive listeners). Unfortunately, supportive listeners can't do the hard work for us. (I wish! :p)

I felt very alone when I lost my best friend last year. After a year and a half, I have not recreated the intimacy I had with my old friend with another person, but I'm not alone either. I've grown to rely on myself a bit more. I've changed.

Grieve for your lost friend and former lover. Take solace in the silence that fills the spaces where your arguments were. Keep a journal, write down the conversations you would have had with him. You understand yourself so much better than he ever did. Confide in yourself.

Take it one day at a time. Spoil yourself rotten. Be well and be strong.


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20031002/msgs/265524.html