Posted by Penny on October 1, 2003, at 12:42:38
In reply to Re: It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to... » Penny, posted by Adia on October 1, 2003, at 11:46:02
> Penny,
> we've never talked before...
> but I wanted to wish you Happy Birthday..Thank you.
> I don't like birthdays, or holidays..even weekends...because I hate to have to smile or pretend everything's fine when inside I may be crying or I lack energy to do anything..
I hate it when I feel bad on days that are supposed to be 'happy' days.
> But it's nice to feel loved or to feel people care about you...in the past few years I've tried to celebrate my birthday in a different way..
> Sometimes I just go out for a coffee with a friend and I have a heart-to-heart talk and I even let myself cry and be held for a little while...or sometimes I take my little niece somewhere nice -i love being around children and it helps me feel a little heart smile...I shop around and buy something I want, sometimes a teddy bear :o) or I go to a big bookstore and buy books...
> I try to do something nice for myself...at least one little thing.
> I guess we all need to feel loved and being reminded that we are loved and that someone is with us.
> For me a heartfelt hug is the most special gift.
> Just wanted to wish you well and send you my support, and I hope you can do something nice for yourself today...
> Even if you want to go to bed and watch movies and cry ...that's okay. Just do what you feel and want...I hate to think back of what i have or haven't accomplished because I end up feeling so depressed...and I try not to think of what other people do or how they celebrate. I prefer to do what I feel in my heart. hope you can do the same...
> I am 27 too... ;o)
> just thinking of you and sending you best wishes,
> Adia.
Thank you again. This day is just sending me spiraling deeper and deeper into the Pit. My pdoc tried to get me to come up with something I could do on my birthday, and I've tried to think of something I could do nice for myself or something fun, but I'm just feeling so alone. At least at my old job someone always kept track of birthdays and was responsible for getting a card for everyone to sign (there were actually two people, in case one of them wasn't available), so everyone knew it was your birthday and you got a card that everyone had signed, and it was just nice. And often they'd do something more - cake and ice cream in the break room or something like that. Around here apparently the only birthdays they care about are those for folks turning 40. I wasn't here on my birthday last year, and they don't know when it is, and even the folks who *should* know, b/c they deal with the records and everything, don't know. I guess no one pays attention. And part of me wants to yell, "It's my birthday!!! Isn't ANYONE going to wish me a happy birthday???" but I'm not that kind of person. I don't like *asking* for well wishes.This just sucks.
I may take the rest of the day off and go home to my dogs. At least they love me, even if they don't realize it's my birthday. ;-) To them, my birthday might as well be everyday.
Thanks again for the birthday wishes, and good to meet you.
P
poster:Penny
thread:264686
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/264730.html