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Re: Clearing the decks » NutMeig

Posted by Emme on September 20, 2003, at 8:27:13

In reply to Re: Clearing the decks, posted by NutMeig on September 20, 2003, at 1:27:44

Hi there. Thanks for your kind suggestions. My oldest friends, some of whom have a history of mood disorders themselves are not local, but I talk to at least one of them most days (poor things - they're doing extra duty as unofficial therapists). My local social life isn't great and I'm somehwat isolated, but it at least does exist. Birding last weekend. Some days I'm pretty busy. Yesterday I had a lunch date, rode my bike, worked on my computer programming homework, and watched a movie with another friend. This weekend I hope to do something outdoors with someone else.

Scary thing is,I would sound pretty normal and active to most people, all factors considered. But in reality my life is not together in the most important ways. No job at the moment, eating savings, no clue what to do, not really productive - some days my brain just won't work, still too many hours alone at home even though I go out to do stuff, no boyfriend in years, trying to put on a good face to my family. My therapist and I are working on coming up with a game plan, but under such cumulative fatigue it's hard. We all know the feeling here.... This group is a great source of real understanding.

Following the standard advice to talk to friends, etc. helps a *little*. But it's not enough to stop me feeling terribly terribly hopelesss, sometimes even while I'm doing these activities. If I can rustle up a good time, the dreadful feelings and suicidal thoughts are waiting to pounce on me at home. Do you ever feel like nothing can penetrate your bad feelings?

Whoa nelly, they are putting siding on my apt building. The hammering is reverberating through the whole place.

Emme

 

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poster:Emme thread:260475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/261896.html