Posted by Sabina on August 29, 2003, at 1:37:45
i've been having trouble staying awake during the day...probably for a myriad of reasons. due to my history with fibromyaliga, i simply can't afford to turn the opportunity down when it presents itself. so lately i've been up quite late every night. i feel like a bit of a vampire. my youth comes flooding back to me now...listening to lots of bauhaus, etc.
this means i'm on a backwards schedule with the husband who i now only see for a few hours in the evening. that's his only free time to get his own stuff done so i mostly bother him when i try to talk then. he's leaving this weekend for yet another sporting event. i just can't go. it's nothing but drinking and more drinking. i don't want to live like that and i can't do it like i used to anyway considering the meds i'm on. my tolerance is so low! i had three beers earlier and it was just vile...didn't stop me though, did it? i stopped short of leaving the house to get more.
i used to have so many projects that i would've done if i had the time i have now...not to mention all the books i wanted t read. that was before i got sick, of course. now it's just one more thing for which to recriminate myself. i bought a new game for the xbox to help keep me company at night and get me out from in front of this box (only to sit in front of another, i know). i wanted one that i would enjoy, without all the carnage and stress. even this little child's puzzle/dexterity/quest game (frogger beyond) makes me too nervous just yet. maybe i'll get better at it. the poor little guy just goes splat and dies when i get it wrong. at least i'm not shooting anyone...just trying not to get squashed. at least i can identify with that!
waiting for the xanax to kick in.
poster:Sabina
thread:255244
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030818/msgs/255244.html