Psycho-Babble Social Thread 255244

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

alone, alone, alone

Posted by Sabina on August 29, 2003, at 1:37:45

i've been having trouble staying awake during the day...probably for a myriad of reasons. due to my history with fibromyaliga, i simply can't afford to turn the opportunity down when it presents itself. so lately i've been up quite late every night. i feel like a bit of a vampire. my youth comes flooding back to me now...listening to lots of bauhaus, etc.

this means i'm on a backwards schedule with the husband who i now only see for a few hours in the evening. that's his only free time to get his own stuff done so i mostly bother him when i try to talk then. he's leaving this weekend for yet another sporting event. i just can't go. it's nothing but drinking and more drinking. i don't want to live like that and i can't do it like i used to anyway considering the meds i'm on. my tolerance is so low! i had three beers earlier and it was just vile...didn't stop me though, did it? i stopped short of leaving the house to get more.

i used to have so many projects that i would've done if i had the time i have now...not to mention all the books i wanted t read. that was before i got sick, of course. now it's just one more thing for which to recriminate myself. i bought a new game for the xbox to help keep me company at night and get me out from in front of this box (only to sit in front of another, i know). i wanted one that i would enjoy, without all the carnage and stress. even this little child's puzzle/dexterity/quest game (frogger beyond) makes me too nervous just yet. maybe i'll get better at it. the poor little guy just goes splat and dies when i get it wrong. at least i'm not shooting anyone...just trying not to get squashed. at least i can identify with that!

waiting for the xanax to kick in.

 

Alone alone alone awake awake awake » Sabina

Posted by kar on August 29, 2003, at 2:28:02

In reply to alone, alone, alone, posted by Sabina on August 29, 2003, at 1:37:45

>i simply can't afford to turn the opportunity down when it presents itself.

Doesn't that just bite? I'm scurrying around like a squirrel these past few weeks because i feel good too. Do these 'typically functioning' people have any idea how fortunate they are to have that time most of the time!?

i've been up quite late every night.
>Oh dear, it's 3:24 am here. At what point do you just call it 'getting up early'? :D

listening to lots of bauhaus,

Bwahaha

>the books i wanted t read. that was before i got sick, of course.

Sing it sister.

>get squashed. at least i can identify with that!

Well I guess then I should be playing the shoot em ups games. Not the gory realistice stuff, just anxiety releasing games. i wonder if they have a kickboxing video game...
Things just ain't the same since my Atari 5600 and Coleco Vision.


 

Frogger and other endevours » Sabina

Posted by Chicklet on September 3, 2003, at 0:38:47

In reply to alone, alone, alone, posted by Sabina on August 29, 2003, at 1:37:45

Doing ok, Sabina?

 

Re: posting names » Chicklet

Posted by Dr. Bob on September 3, 2003, at 1:44:28

In reply to Frogger and other endevours » Sabina, posted by Chicklet on September 3, 2003, at 0:38:47

> Doing ok, Sabina?

Sorry to interrupt, but have you been posting under more than one name? If so, please pick one and stick to that. Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: posting names » Dr. Bob

Posted by Chicklet on September 3, 2003, at 2:16:36

In reply to Re: posting names » Chicklet, posted by Dr. Bob on September 3, 2003, at 1:44:28

Dr. B- it's ok - you're not interrupting...I changed to chicklet and one time after I changed it I forgot...not trying to be an enigma...:D


 

Re: OK, thanks (nm) » Chicklet

Posted by Dr. Bob on September 3, 2003, at 19:14:41

In reply to Re: posting names » Dr. Bob, posted by Chicklet on September 3, 2003, at 2:16:36

 

Re: Frogger and other endevours » Chicklet

Posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 2:22:38

In reply to Frogger and other endevours » Sabina, posted by Chicklet on September 3, 2003, at 0:38:47

> Doing ok, Sabina?
>

okay enough, here. thanks for asking. i've been having some pain and still sleeping during the day. i am getting lots of work (the money making kind, not only laundry, etc.) done at night, so i'm trying hard not to feel "lazy" for sleeping while *everyone* else is at work. when i open my eyes and realize my husband's already had lunch i can't help but feel kinda crappy, even if i was awake nearly until his alarm went off.

as for "frogger beyond" on the xbox, i went online and got some cheat codes. i know...*cheating* sounds so awful; but getting splattered over and over again was too depressing. these games make me nervous! a *game* that makes even children feel excited and challenged just plain scares me. palpitations, holding my breath, etc. i'm hoping that using the cheat codes will make it more enjoyable (less stressful) for me.

another thing: i've been staying away from here more and more lately. i'm not really in a place where i need any meds advice, and i've felt vulnerable to the blocked poster "flare up" phenomenon. i don't know if it's still happening as frequently, if at all. i seemed to always be checking in when someone (or more than one, i have no idea) would come roaring back, swinging invective wildly at dr. bob (and sometimes others). then, once i was already rattled and disoriented, the posts and any response(s) disappeared, as per policy.

i found the entire affair to be like unto an episode of the twilight zone. did it really happen? did anyone else see it before it disappeared? is everyone else just *pretending* that it didn't happen? did so-and-so see what was said about them? should i try to make them feel better or just ignore it? even when i wouldn't read the body of the post, i was still unsettled to see it happening again. has it calmed down a bit or is it still happening frequently? i'm just trying to look after my own emotional well being.

i wish we were all able to just "play pretty" with each other.

i wish you well, too. i'll check back in soon.

bina

 

The Night Owl...hoo.. hoo » Sabina

Posted by chicklet on September 4, 2003, at 4:23:58

In reply to Re: Frogger and other endevours » Chicklet, posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 2:22:38

> > Doing ok, Sabina?
> >
>
Hey Sabina- sorry, i can't remember...you have FM right? Sorry if I screwed that up. I've heard that it can be just awful...I dont know much about it.

>lots of work (the money making kind, not only laundry, etc.) done at night,

Kick butt! i wish I could say the same! Look what I'm doing at 5:00 am. And at this point, really, why bother going back to bed when I have to be up at 7. I'm nervous about a neurosurgeon appt I have this am. Although I'm absolutely intrigued with all things brain, and i love to read CT scans, it's not quite the same when it's you! Kinda like the fascination of reality tv...interesting to hear about maybe, but...

>"lazy" for sleeping while *everyone* else is at work.

Ok now, there'll be none of that talk! You have made a huge accomplishment...I know it's hard not to deflate yourself.

>i can't help but feel kinda crappy, even if i was awake nearly until his alarm went off.

You've done well! Circadian rhythms be damned!

>*cheating* sounds so awful;
Oh pulease. not in this case. Wow, I had no idea they had such info out there! But I think that if KIDS are playing, they should have to use their little maleable brains more and figure it out themselves. There are just too many buttons to push on the controls for me...I get all panicky! When a 6-year-old says, "Look Aunt Karen...it's easy! Press this one to select the game, this one to go forward, that arrow to jump, this one to squat" I get the heebie jeebies. And damn I feel old.

> but getting splattered over and over again was too depressing.

Oh splattering is fine as long as it's not 'real life'!!

>palpitations, holding my breath, etc.

No need for aerobics! Yay!

>i need any meds advice,
Same here re: the meds.

>would come roaring back, swinging invective wildly at dr. bob

Yeah, cyber invectives! I know what you mean. Amazing the freedom people seem to think they have on the internet. I don't know how Dr. B does it sometimes. Bully for him, i say! But I don't think he should have to. I know he probably feels as if he needs to maintain order, but if this were 3D life, we'd have to just figure it out for ourselves, If one doesn't like the site and can't help but hurt other peoples' feelings, make an exit.

>i found the entire affair to be like unto an episode of the twilight zone.

Yuppers. I find it to be a fascinating social-anthropological study. i figured I needed to start to view it that way. I'll tell my sister about so-and-so still not doing well and so-and- so laying everyone including Dr. Bob out in lavender.

>i try to make them feel better or just ignore it?
Oh that's funny...not funny 'haha' though. i do the same thing. It's a nurturing thing, methinks. Maybe I need a baby. I'm TOO sympathetic sometimes. My mom tells the story of when my dad's sailboat was sinking while dad was away on business. She was so upset. I was 2 and 1/2. I patted her on her back and said, "Don't cwy mommy. It's ok..."!

>emotional well being.
Wise words.
>
> i wish we were all able to just "play pretty" with each other.
Yeah sometimes i wonder if there should be an admin board at all. We have a choice whether we care to use this site. And Dr. Bob has created it. Well, if you ain't happy with it, then...

>i wish you well, too.
Back atcha. I'm called "bean" in my family so the way you signed your name gave me a little smile!

Hang in there. You have much to be proud of even if it's hard for you to see now.

Karen

 

Re: Frogger and other endevours » Sabina

Posted by Dinah on September 4, 2003, at 4:47:42

In reply to Re: Frogger and other endevours » Chicklet, posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 2:22:38

I'm sorry about the pain. :( But congratulations on getting work done! I get mine done at pretty unorthodox hours sometimes.

I guess it's only fair to warn you that it's still going on, if less frequently. I'm sorry it's having that effect on you. :( I wonder if that's why it's been so quiet. Sigh.

If you're worried about my being hurt, don't be. I can't say I like being commented on (even if not by name anymore), but it doesn't devastate me. I also can't say it doesn't make me a bit cautious about what I say here, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. And Dr. Bob can take care of himself. I'm not really aware of anyone else being in the line of fire.

It would be a shame to lose you over such a thing. I hope you can post as much as you'd like to and just ignore the rest.

 

Let's change my falty speeling

Posted by chicklet on September 4, 2003, at 5:58:53

In reply to Re: Frogger and other endevours » Sabina, posted by Dinah on September 4, 2003, at 4:47:42

I just cannot bear to see my "endeavor" spelled wrong anymore. My bad.
No really, I'm not anal.

 

Re: Frogger and other endevours » Dinah

Posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 12:15:27

In reply to Re: Frogger and other endevours » Sabina, posted by Dinah on September 4, 2003, at 4:47:42

> I guess it's only fair to warn you that it's still going on, if less frequently. I'm sorry it's having that effect on you. :( I wonder if that's why it's been so quiet. Sigh.
>
>

thanks for letting me know. glad you're holding up okay.

 

Re: The Night Owl...hoo.. hoo » chicklet

Posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 15:14:47

In reply to The Night Owl...hoo.. hoo » Sabina, posted by chicklet on September 4, 2003, at 4:23:58

thanks for the kind words about my backwards schedule. i was up with only five hours of sleep i did some more work and am actually proud of my accomplishments today.

i like your idea of viewing board outbursts as social anthropological studies. it certainly might help to distance myself from it emotionally. it's just so difficult to see people lash out when they are hurt and angry. i have a low tolerance for that sort of behavior. hopefully, now i will be more able to hang around here and read without trepidation.

i've been trying to re-watch kenneth branagh's (i love his work!) Hamlet today. i think that i'm so "delicate" myself at times that even a well known and studied upon work of art can be too much for me.

"Good night, ladies, good night, sweet ladies..."

hope your appointment went well. do tell. talk again soon, bean.

bina

 

Hippy neurologists » Sabina

Posted by chicklet on September 6, 2003, at 11:57:38

In reply to Re: The Night Owl...hoo.. hoo » chicklet, posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 15:14:47

beeeeeana,
> thanks for the kind words about my backwards schedule.

hey, you're making the best of it! Ain't no kind words...

> i've been trying to re-watch kenneth branagh's (i love his work!) Hamlet today.

Ah, Ken. Have you seen Much Ado or Dead Again?

I'm a bit saddened that I didn't get a whole lot of Shackspeeere edumacation while I was in school. My high school days were sketchy at best and i never got to finish any books. In college i concentrated on my major. I read Richard III but I think I really need to have a study group or a prof guiding me. Yes I could take a class now. Well maybe not- I'm still not consistently good enough to commit to a class, pay for it and then end up losing money. And if I took a class it would be Spanish.
Sorry for the divergence. I'm not hypo...this is just the real me. It's the way I talk too.

> hope your appointment went well. do tell. talk again soon, bean.

Oh jeepers you gave me an owwie when you called me 'Bean'.
My appt...wellll...that's what the hippie neuro reference was. Due to the ingestion of various narcotics over the past 2 weeks, I can't really recall which doc I told you about. Yesterday I called the neuro practice near here. At 3:30. They had a cancellation at 4!!! What are the odds, I ask you? He had crazy-messy-i-just-don't-care grey hair tied back in a little ponytail (!!!), very mellow and very knowledgeable. it was meant to be, clearly, that I saw him. He was rather impressed with my history, which in this case is not really a compliment. Bipolar, prolactinoma, taking numerous drugs (including Lamictal, a drug which of course he knew about and had much praise and respect for ..nice not to have to explain everything to docs), a funky virus that affected my eye, misdx'ed with a venous thrombosis 2 months ago (RIGHT BEFORE WE MOVED!!!!)...then misdx'ed with a sub-arachnoid cyst (not a toomah), hx of nasty-a$$ sinus infections and surgery for them, blah blah blah. I know- tmi. But I bet you're all impressed now too!

As I knew I would be, I'm all good in the neuro dept. In fact I nearly pushed him clear out of the room when he asked me to 'try to not let him push his hands toward me'.
He was really concerned about my lack of sleep due to the pain (mostly), just as my pdoc is. But he took me off the benzos and gave me some nortrip. to sleep. It worked!!!! head still hurts like a bear but I don't care as much. He also gave me a steroid type something or other which is kind of like prednisone but not. He thinks it might be sinus related! Is that wack or what??
It's a relief but not...because they still don't really know what the deal is. I hate baffling doctors. EEG next week, which will be negative, and follow up with an ENT, find a primary care doc and an endo. We just frickin' moved here and i have no docs except for pdoc 45 minutes away.

Stay tuned for more of the saga.
Thanks for asking,
Kar Bean Chicklet

 

pssst... Sabina

Posted by Gabbix2 on September 6, 2003, at 15:53:35

In reply to Re: The Night Owl...hoo.. hoo » chicklet, posted by Sabina on September 4, 2003, at 15:14:47

I've seen the posts, and it would be an awful shame to lose you because of them. You know what I do?
I imagine the poster as one of those downtown guys, the ones who wear 3 hats, and yellow rubbers, and haven't showered, who carry signs that say "The end is near" Except this one knows how to use a computer. That way I don't get so angry.

 

Re: please be civil » Gabbix2

Posted by Dr. Bob on September 6, 2003, at 23:01:47

In reply to pssst... Sabina, posted by Gabbix2 on September 6, 2003, at 15:53:35

> I imagine the poster as one of those downtown guys, the ones who wear 3 hats, and yellow rubbers, and haven't showered, who carry signs that say "The end is near" Except this one knows how to use a computer. That way I don't get so angry.

I'm glad it helps you not get so angry, but please don't post anything that could lead others, even if they're blocked, to feel put down, thanks.

Bob

 

That wasn't nice. Sorry » Dr. Bob

Posted by Gabbix2 on September 7, 2003, at 16:11:02

In reply to Re: please be civil » Gabbix2, posted by Dr. Bob on September 6, 2003, at 23:01:47

At least I whispered though.

 

Re: Thanks (nm) » Gabbix2

Posted by Dr. Bob on September 8, 2003, at 0:57:19

In reply to That wasn't nice. Sorry » Dr. Bob, posted by Gabbix2 on September 7, 2003, at 16:11:02

 

Re: pssst... Gabbi » Gabbix2

Posted by Sabina on September 8, 2003, at 9:02:39

In reply to pssst... Sabina, posted by Gabbix2 on September 6, 2003, at 15:53:35

gabbix fantastix,

sorry you got PBC'd whilst you were trying to be nice to me. i feel kinda like you had to stay after school because i passed you a note in class. it was greatly appreciated, in any case.

actually, i laughed and laughed. i remember a guy in chicago (years ago) who walked the streets receiving messages by means of a (not small) pyramid strapped to his head.

for my part, i didn't hear you implying that anyone here (blocked or otherwise) was such a nutter, only that you had a trick for dealing with upsetting material on the board.

you used the phrase "I imagine..." much in the same way that chicklet explained how she takes a socio-anthropological vantage in order to protect herself.

the input and advice of both you and chicklet have helped me, as i hope it may help others who may have problems distancing themselves emotionally from occasional upheaval and outbursts, here and everywhere.


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