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Editorial comments just fine! fallsfall

Posted by Temmie on August 28, 2003, at 13:06:41

In reply to Re: Read before preceeding post...Temmie, posted by fallsfall on August 28, 2003, at 12:39:26

Fallsfall, I have worked as a writer, editor, and am currently teaching third grade language arts -- but good Lord! I need help with things I write impulsively, and I knew I should have given this letter a 24-hour cooling off period so I could see things/read things more objectively. Your comments weren't out-of-line at all. A little embarrassing, but that's only because they had the ring of truth to them (and I knew my letter was too emotional to be objective and fair). In fact, I was quite alarmed that I'd sent it, which was why I posted it here to get feedback ....

Not to worry! Your comments spoke of your wisdom and experience, and wisdom and experience is what I'm seeking!

Can I be mushy? I love you, and I love Dena. Or the spirit in my heart is sending love and appreciation both for the two of you.

I am so grateful to have such caring, wise women in my life!!!

That said, I called J's school this morning to get his phone number, and ended up talking with him. I told him there was a long (uncomfortable pause), serious email waiting for him. (More silence.) I've been reflecting this morning -- talker that I am -- I've raised a boy who I'm only now coming to understand isn't comfortable talking about personal things .... So I'm sure the letter will be a shock. In fact, he's perhaps so sick of me, that he won't even read it all.

One can hope.

I have not been a very good person in terms of helping J feel he had equal footing in the necessary (in second language learners, we call it "code switching) between "Daddy's" house and mine. We are too such different people, it's hard to imagine our being together long enough to produce this child! Anyhow, I think your remarks -- especially your remarks about the careful dance one must do in not forcing the child to "take sides" was most important for me to hear.

In fact, if you have any suggestions how I follow this email with a brief apology, I'd be most appreciative.

(Or perhaps it's better to let thing go.)

Sigh. I guess I'll be J's mom forever, and there's plenty of time and opportunity for hammering out that path toward perfection ....

Much, much love!





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