Posted by gabbix2 on August 17, 2003, at 22:26:32
Really I am okay, my moods pretty good.
Its all past things really, and I've stopped taking paxil, ( a good thing)
I think it was perhaps too much with my other medications and causeing me to just accept behaviour from people that I shouldn't.Mostly the anger was things that there can't realy be any thing done about now, you know
like people who should have protected me when I was a kid and didn't. People who should be in jail and aren't.
I guess writing it all out
one after the other was like seeing it as someone elses life, and I honestly wondered how this person had lived through it (truly)
And still having parents who know about some really gruesome things (recent( I would never disclose in a forum like this. And still insist
I'm lazy. Its anger. And I get angry that I'm the one taking the extra valium. Not the Ad's I've always needed those.
I think what topped it off was recently about 8 weeks ago after INSISTING he had no money to help me with therapy, and knowing how badly i've been abused.
My dad actually got his nose out of joint because I wouldn't take a set of 10 prepaid chiropractic sessions that would have cost more than 800.00.
This guy convinced him it would cure my depression. I'm not saying it wouldn't be a good thing, I was just seeing red, because as far as I see it if you have 'no money' you have 'no money'
. I'd been asking for therapy help for over a year.
It was one of his friends who molested me! And when a male babysitter we had as kids did that as well when I was 4 my dad gave the guy a 'talking too' and he's a COP! My dad, not the babysitter
Aacck. And now I'm getting all angry again.This is just the nice stuff I'm telling you about too. Sometimes I wish I drank.
Truly though I am okay. I'm just feeling anger
for the first time in a very long time.
Well since my P.Doc put me on Effexor anyway ;)
poster:gabbix2
thread:251724
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030808/msgs/251724.html