Posted by kara lynne on August 6, 2003, at 18:17:42
Ex leaving "drive by" messages. Hostile, sarcastic, as if I'm the culprit for not being available for him when he decides to swoop in for the kill.
"It would be nice to see you someday." "Maybe we'll talk at some point again in our lives..." Stating his last name, and calling me by mine as if I wouldn't remember.
But he offers me nothing...really...does he...? What is he offering me? What is he saying? He's saying he'll be out of contact when he feels like it for days on end, having house-warming parties (in all his 'grief') and entertaining at his palace, and when all the guests go home he calls for a little coke and sympathy.
He says "what about that counseling thing..." and then doesn't follow through or call me for days----then he leaves messages as if I'm dissing him. They start out "Hey beautiful girl", and "Hi honey"...
Hi honey!!!! Can you beat this?!
Then slowly they dissolve into passive aggressive, non-committal character assaults; rife with blame and anger.
What's a girl to do?
I'm sad. I'm tired. I'm cursed. I moved into this 'sanctuary"...a beautiful area away from the hustle and bustle of the city, but close enough to commute. In an apartment with rent so reasonable it never goes on the market, just rents by word of mouth. And I thought I really got lucky this time, and I really deserved the break.
Then the reality. The noise, the stench, the weirdos next door...and the noise, and the stench, and then there's the constant noise....the cars never stop. They seem to go by day and night, no matter what time, and there are three schools nearby just waiting for September to be in session and that's when all the traffic *really* begins...
I woke up feeling like it was all a bad dream, after having real, bad dreams. Do you know when you're so weak from trauma and lack of good sleep that you just want to cry? That's how I feel. I just feel so weak. Why can't I curl up on someone's door step like a lost puppy and be taken care of? I won't eat a lot. I'll be quiet, I'll be good, just give me a nice soft bed and a quiet room and pet me every once in a while...
poster:kara lynne
thread:248728
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030727/msgs/248728.html