Posted by yesac on August 1, 2003, at 16:56:42
In reply to re: I feel depressed, posted by ROO on August 1, 2003, at 14:48:32
I don't know what this is about. It might be my usual weekend thing, but taking a sort of different form. The past few weeks it has been more of fear about what I'm going to do with myself. Now it is just plain depression and sadness. I seem to often have bad fridays and saturdays. Ugh - you guys - just like yesterday I don't even know what to say... I just feel so down, so incredibly down, and it seems to get worse as the minutes go by. I am very stressed about money lately, too, which certainly doesn't help anything.
I just feel this bleakness, though that's not really the right word. I want to withdraw, not have to talk to people, least of all new roomates who I don't feel comfortable with and feel that I have to put on a happy face around. It's not so hard with people I work with because I like being with them and talking and therefore I feel actually okay around them, so it isn't a matter of putting on the face.
Why does it all have to be so hard? I don't think that I've really felt good in years, I mean really truly good. Oh well, okay, I guess there were a couple phases that I felt overall pretty decent for a few months.
I have that feeling of sort of wanting to cry right now, but for me it is so subtle. I never really cry. I feel somewhat nauseaus, just a little bit. I really think that I'd feel a little better if I didn't have to worry about going home and facing my roomates. But I don't want to let myself get into a pattern of avoiding them either.
I don't know what to do about meds either, if I should do what I want which isn't exactly what my doctor said to do.
I feel like I'm wasting all my time not accomplishing anything and not enjoying anything either.
I wish that the day was over and I could go to bed.
poster:yesac
thread:247143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030727/msgs/247426.html