Posted by noa on July 26, 2003, at 9:25:28
In reply to and still embarrassed., posted by kara lynne on July 26, 2003, at 2:21:11
Don't be embarrased by the ebb and flow of responses. There are so many things that go into the ups and downs of responses. It absolutely does not indicate who likes you and who might not.
Whether I respond to a post depends on so many different things, and these factors change all the time--some that I can think of are: the obvious--whether I can get online; how much energy I have; my attention span at that moment will affect how many posts I read in one online session as well as whether I can read long posts; certain subjects catch my eye at certain times, while at other times, other subjects catch my eye; my own emotional state at the moment and what I can deal with; whether words come to me or not--sometimes I'll want to respond to a post, but I feel like I need to think more about it and sometimes I read posts but don't have energy to respond, or the words just don't get organized, etc. etc. etc.
Yes, you are right that there are certain relationships that have formed here based on shared experiences or as Dinah said, where people happen to be in their life journeys at the moment, or just length of acquaintance, etc. But I tend to be a fairly "independent" operator here in that I do not really have individual contact with anyone. But I know that some people have chosen to get to know each other via email or telephone and that is ok for me. And sometimes, there are threads that seem to involve pairs or small groups of people who have a certain connection with each other that I don't have. That is ok with me, too. Sometimes, I might throw a post into one of these threads if it interests me, but I recognize that I don't have to be part of every conversation. Kind of like in a room full of people, like a party. There are many different conversations going on at once and people mingle, but they can't all necessarily mingle so thoroughly to be able to drop in on every grouping and conversation.
So, yes, sometimes people look for certain posters to continue their conversations, etc. But I also get the sense here that people are open to relating to the whole gang of us. I have learned not to take lack of response personally. If I ask something and don't get much of a response, I might be disappointed, but there isn't anything to be embarrassed about. If it is important to me, I might try asking again--timing is often an unpredictable factor.
Anyway, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. You were already feeling so fragile and then the test thing happened. I'm glad to hear that you can re take the test, and that there was some validation that the test might have been "off", causing a lot of people to have difficulty with it, not just you.
poster:noa
thread:244753
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/245467.html