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(((Kara Lynne)))

Posted by whiterabbit on July 22, 2003, at 9:32:36

In reply to Fetal position., posted by kara lynne on July 22, 2003, at 1:13:19

You're hanging out with the wrong people. I don't know where you found this charmed circle of women, but I don't think they represent the average...what I mean is, you can't get the idea that most people have the kind of perfect life that you're missing out on. I don't know, maybe I see a lot more of it, being in the medical profession, you see a lot of ugly stuff - the things people do to themselves and each other, it's shocking.

My last psychiatrist kept insisting that I attend a dual diagnosis program at the hospital - dual diagnosis meaning depression and substance abuse.
After some classes we sat in a circle for group therapy and people just talked to each other...the whole thing lasted less than 3 hours.
Anyway, during the smoke break while we were standing outside, one of the women went to her car in the parking lot and filled her styrofoam coffee cup with some vodka from a thermos. She didn't make a secret of it, she told the rest of us very calmly, that's what she was doing and would anyone else like some.

Now, there have been times in my life when I was a serious, very dedicated drinker (not right now, thank God, I'd never make it). I've never been so bad that I couldn't get through a 3-hour morning class (on alcohol abuse no less) without a shot of vodka. And my heart just ached for this woman...you wanted to reach out and touch her and take away the need for her to drink, if only you could.

See, those are the kind of people you need to hang with, if you're going to be comparing your life with theirs! I don't know why some people seem to be blessed with everything and then there's us...somewhere down the road the lives of those happy women may take a very bad turn. Not that you wish for it or that they deserve it, but
life is a great wheel always turning...

Like I was telling yesac, when you reach out to others who need your compassion, the empty space in your life begins to fill up. That's why you see so many people who have suffered an unspeakable loss - parents of murdered children, mothers against drunk drivers - who form groups for mutual support and political action. If you feel that children would fill your empty space, there are children out there who need you. Adoption is a huge step that needs careful planning and consideration, I wouldn't START with such an enormous act, but you can start by, say, volunteering for the Special Olympics, getting involved with underprivilaged kids, helping out with the children at a shelter for battered women, helping a mother who has a child with cerebral palsy or other special needs...there are so many things you could do to give hands-on help to someone and make their life better.

And when you help people in this way, I find that God opens a window for you.

Myself, I was presented with a challenge of sorts in this vein...I used to paint murals, great big colorful wall murals for children, although I haven't done this for some time. I live in the city where there are quite a few centers for children, daycare and YMCAs, that kind of thing...they're clean but very stark, more institutional-looking than cheerful, and they don't have the funding for professional decorating or artists. My Dad told me that if I ever cared to volunteer my time, to paint murals for these places, he would buy all the paints and supplies I wanted...see, he knows too, it would be as good for me as it would be for the kids.

Well sweetie, you don't know it but you're needed out there in the world, they're waiting for you.
-Gracie


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poster:whiterabbit thread:244133
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/244203.html