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Re: I also wonder...

Posted by Willow on July 15, 2003, at 0:13:12

In reply to I also wonder..., posted by yesac on July 13, 2003, at 16:00:03

> I wonder if actually surviving an attempt is sort of the way to get some real help? I just feel like I'm not getting enough.

You need to talk to your psych provider about these thoughts. It'll get your frustration across.
>
> I think it's ironic because even though I have this desire to kill myself (stronger at some times than others) - the idea of being killed like in an accident or something bothers me.

You are frustrated with your life as it is presently and would like to change it. After my suicide attempt it was a struggle not to walk in front of a car. I would question how there could be a higher being in control if people with a desire to live could get lethal illnesses but not me. This thought process stayed with me for decades. Now through therapy and drugs I'm starting to be able to change it. But I honestly question how much of it is just me, and the stangest thing being that I really appreciate the world around me; though, I have a hard time comprehending why I'm here. My children are my lifeline at the moment and my parents. Guilt keeps me going.

Well after all that rambling, stating clearly to your doctor how you want help should start the road to recovery for you.

Best wishes
Whispering Willow


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poster:Willow thread:241225
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