Posted by yesac on July 4, 2003, at 14:20:03
I was right a few days ago. Things are just getting worse and worse. I'm on vacation now, I'm at home with my family and best friend, but I feel pretty terrible. I feel lethargic (although that might have something to do with the heat), I don't want to do ANYTHING, but I hate sitting around and feeling like I'm not doing anything.
Why is it all so hard?
I keep thinking I should just kill myself - nothing's ever going to change. It's just one thing after another, so many problems that I can't overcome.
It's the 4th. Supposed to be having a f**cking great time, but I'm not at all. Except for going for a ride in my dad's antique Jeep earlier today. That was pretty fun, I have to admit. I'm going to the fireworks later. HOpefully that will be okay and not too depressing to see all the happy people and wonder as always why I can't have that.
Sorry I don't have time to respond to more of you all's stuff.
I know I'll probably be totally totally depressed next week when I have to go back to my "real life", though of course, I can never really escape it.
poster:yesac
thread:239249
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030704/msgs/239249.html