Posted by yesac on June 27, 2003, at 14:49:35
In reply to Re: How can something be safe if it's not permanent?, posted by shar on June 27, 2003, at 11:00:46
> .....If safe has to be 100% reliable, only inanimate objects would be safe (and I'd exclude electronics). Things like dolls, stuffed animals, rocks, crockery, etc. But even those can be lost or stolen.
I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but I have a blanket and a stuffed elephant that I have had since I was 2 months old. I bring them almost everywhere - well, not if I am going on vacation or anything like that, but if I move, even if temporarily. They make me feel more "safe" as if having them is at least having someone, as if having them will somehow make things more okay.
> > Without permanence, trust is a risk. And risky is not safe.
>
> .......Trust is risky, period. Even when we are so careful and do our homework, and only let down walls an inch at a time, the closer someone is to us the more they can hurt us. I think it is important to believe you can survive if someone hurts you, or you can't open up to begin with. And, if we run away when we are hurt, we never get a chance to learn we aren't alone. That person can still be there with us, and work things out with us.I have been so hurt when I've lost some people in my life (including 2 therapists, and one of them quite recently). I think it will stay with me forever. But, I do not regret allowing myself to open up and get close. It makes me feel like I am really living, despite the ensuing sometimes unbearable pain. I also had an extremely hard time leaving my college the day after I graduated - I knew that even if I visited later, it would never again be the same. Not that it was even that great of a 4 years. The lack of permanence of everything is just so hard. But I would so much more rather LIVE than be afraid. Still working on that though...
poster:yesac
thread:237475
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030626/msgs/237539.html