Posted by mair on May 28, 2003, at 14:47:42
In reply to Oh, you guys. Does it ever end?, posted by Miller on May 28, 2003, at 9:16:51
Miller,
Lots of us struggle with persistent suicidal thinking. I have felt very much like you - that I needed to soft peddle, or even lie about the depth of my thinking. I didn't have an experience like you had, but there were times when I thought my therapist overreacted to my suicidal "talk", enough to make me feel gun shy about bringing it up with her again.
However, with much work I've now reached the point that zenhussy describes, where it can be discussed in a more helpful way. I have learned, as has my therapist, to distinguish between suicidal thinking which may well end in action, and the more pervasive suicidal thinking that just seems to hang around, sometimes more oppressively than others. I think working through this with her has paid dividends. It's helped me to be less freaked out by my own thought processes. More importantly, I'm now at a place where I can discuss suicide without fear of my therapist overreacting. I think it means I'm more likely to reach out to her if things really do get more serious, and in less serious times, talking about it with her seems to be reassuring to me in a way that, holding back from her, isn't.
Even when I can't imagine getting any better, my therapist can, so I just try to trust her judgment. It's possible that you may have to deal with suicidal ideation for a long time, but I do believe that working through some of these issues with your pdoc (therapist?) may help you feel a little less threatened by the thoughts themselves and also by his reaction to them.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:229685
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030517/msgs/229755.html