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Re: What is passive aggression?

Posted by coral on May 21, 2003, at 3:41:25

In reply to Re: What is passive aggression? » coral, posted by shar on May 20, 2003, at 21:42:51

Dear Shar,

I think that would be a brave game for passive aggressor to play because of the risk of the recipient saying, "What'd you mean by that?" I'm sure it happens and the aggressor says, "Oh, nothing."

On the other hand, I think the passive aggressor tends to agree to the "letter" of an agreement and not the spirit. Husband thinks wife spends too much, especially using credit cards and asks the wife not to do it. Then, she starts cashing checks and spends the cash. When confronted, the wife says "But, honey, I didn't use a credit card once."

To me, one of the hallmarks of p/a is the avoidance of conflict while still doing whatever s/he wants or not doing whatever, leaving it up to the other person to bring up the disagreement. In my experience, serious p/a's tend to be very pleasant to be around, charming, and flat-out devious.

Coral


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