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Re: Warning-about barfing » leeran

Posted by WorryGirl on April 17, 2003, at 17:42:38

In reply to Re: Warning-about barfing » WorryGirl, posted by leeran on April 17, 2003, at 17:02:04

> I'm curious about one thing, so I'll ask - but if it's being too prying I will understand completely!
>
> You stated: Desperate to lose the stubborn pounds that I couldn't even from running track and eating healthy, I finally tried this as a last resort.
>
> My query: did this method actually help you lose the pounds you couldn't lose otherwise and (I guess this is a "two parter") did it have an impact on your athletic ability?
>
>

Yes and yes.

Apparently my metabolism can't compete with my appetite. From the time I was an infant, according to my mother, I have had a voracious appetite. I was slightly chunky as a child, but often made to feel fatter than I actually was. One of my siblings was a super, super skinny sister. Everyone used to comment about her being "lucky" and "blessed" genetically. Looking back at photos, I actually look pretty normal.

Anyhow, in high school several smartass guys commented about my "large" rear end. I was determined to be svelte and started running track. It did help, but I just couldn't lose those 10-15 extra pounds I wanted to. At 17, I was 5' 6" and weighed about 138 lb.

If I dieted, it had to be very extreme (felt like starvation) for me to lose more weight. I couldn't stand eating under 1,000 calories a day; I was a growing girl!

I'd heard about bulimia (you can thank those often shallow mags for this) and when I began literally starving my body the pounds started melting off. My lowest weight ever was 108 lb. Unbelievable. Guys were always telling me how "perfect" my skinny body was. From some women, "You are so lucky to be naturally thin".
There were a few dissenters, too, though, who told me I needed some meat on my bones. Thank goodness I couldn't keep that up forever. It saved my life!

The problem is that I was constantly hungry and ate (then threw up) every chance I could get. Looking back I'm amazed I had the brainpower to graduate, but I managed to do so, with a reasonably high ACT score (26) and honors.

As for my athletic ability, yes, it declined. I stopped running track eventually by the end of my senior year. I felt too tired and run down. Several teachers showed concern but bulimia is a very stubborn disease. If only I could redo this part of my life. My bulimia has become a way of life, although it is MUCH less severe now. I only throw up about once a day usually. Sometimes I'll go for a few days without. When I was pregnant with my first I remained "clean" and didn't throw up once!

What it all boils down to is, I will never have one of those slight frames that have always been adored by the media. I've gotten over that, but old habits die hard. At 145 lb. I could look worse.

Sorry if I got too wordy. Have a good Easter weekend!


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