Posted by bozeman on February 18, 2003, at 22:52:05
Most days I'm really not a whiner, but I'm getting *tired* of all the crappy days coming in clusters!!!
Sick kitty to kitty ER (again!)
Getting dragged into a lawsuit at work as a witness :-(
Body aches all over from pneumonia shot
Budget psychosis at work (don't ask, no one sleeps for a week)
Analysis file I was working on "collapsed" and of course the IS people only back it up at night -- so I lost a day's work (so another night's sleep)
Sister is sick, and I can't go see her (no one gets time off during budget hell)
Etc.But all of that, honestly, is par for the course. I could have *dealt* with today if the last straw hadn't happened: My usually sweet, wonderful boyfriend picked a ridiculous fight with me over *nothing* and started acting like a ridiculously obstinate moody testosterone machine (Jodie, do you think I cursed it by using that phrase last night?) on steroids. He's positively delusional today. Making stuff up and projecting it on me. I don't have any idea where this is coming from. For the first time, I am questioning the wisdom of our relationship, and in fact, his sanity. If I can't reason with him, all is lost. And there was no reasoning with him. Not if my life depended on it.
Maybe he's undiagnosed bipolar? Doesn't matter if he is, you couldn't get him to the doctor to save his stubborn life. I love him but today I just wanted to kick his ASS and say, WAKE UP! What's the MATTER with you?
So I sit here with sick kitty, who says it's time for bed. He's right of course. Sorry, I try not to dwell on negative stuff, most days I can laugh and say, "Ha, ha, is that all you got? Bring it on!" but today just knocked the wind out of me. Can't focus. Even when depressed I can usually dredge up some anger to keep me going if it gets really tough. But today drained me. I just want to crawl in bed and never come out.
Thanks for listening.
bozeman
poster:bozeman
thread:201723
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030215/msgs/201723.html