Posted by Paige on February 7, 2003, at 15:28:08
In reply to Re: Very Blue...any thoughts would help, posted by lostsailor on February 7, 2003, at 9:10:54
Dear Tony and Mik,
Thank you both for writing me and being there. I am not in a good place, but in some ways it is good because I am finally looking at things. I did meet with the counselor at school and we agreed to meet every Monday for an hour. It always feel good to talk. Between all you on the board and talking to her I felt better and had a better perspective. It is when I am alone and the thoughts just antagonize me and I don't know what to do with them. As far as friends, well there are few and far between here. So few people can listen and I think that is so sad,for them. As far as "gentleman"....he was hardly that. Looking at it from a better point of view, he has done me a favor. I am glad that I have been there for people and I never let them down, never. Problem is , you expect the same, but it never happened for me. I was a good friend and maybe I'll to be that to myself. I have had so really very low days and they are not pleasant. Today I kept trying to tell myself that the most important things right now are that I deal with my loss and I deal my studies, both are very important to me and they were important to my sister, too. The rest I cannot cope with and entertain the idea of changing anyone or hoping and wishing they would maintain some sort of friendship with me--it is too much work, not a good sign of a friendship. The very few I have (and they are few) are supportive and make time adn vice versa. But it is a lonely walk when you lose someone and every other loss you have comes up and then you do feel abandoned. I would love to see some sun one day. These are dark days.
Thank you for listening to me and being so kind.
It means a great deal to me and made a large difference in my day.
Paige
poster:Paige
thread:36505
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030201/msgs/36608.html