Posted by Phil on February 6, 2003, at 21:11:36
In reply to Very Blue...any thoughts would help, posted by Paige on February 6, 2003, at 19:45:49
Paige, are you seeing a therapist or do you belong to any of the groups that deal with loss? Are you on medication or have you been? Do you have other siblings? Sorry for all the questions.
You are coming up on the first year since your sister passed. I wonder how I would handle that? I give it thought because I have two older brothers. I lost my mom in '93 and that was rough. Losing one of my brothers, especially seeing them suffer, would be the most difficult of life's situations to handle. I would, as always, need meds and a very compassionate therapist, my 2 close friends, and a strong belief system.
As far as the guy goes...we're a dime a dozen. Find one that will be your friend and try to let the old one go.
There is no doubt you have anger burning inside, whether it's conscious or not. You could really use some people to talk to who are going through the same thing.
I doubt that I am being much help but I will say this. Not long before my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I started reading the Bible-my life sucked at the time and I think I knew at some level my mom would be leaving soon. When my mother told me she had cancer and that it was malignant, I cried like a baby. I think God came to me because he knew what I was going through. When I prayed every night, I seened to feel a comforting presence that was what saved me more than anything else.
My therapist at the time, was in recovery and I knew the program. She had a saying: God first, 'me' second, others third. I will never be calm on the inside until I live this way everyday. God is how you define God and until I love him above all else, I'm vulnerable. But if I put what I believe God wants first, then take care of myself(mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually-only then can I have the strength to be of worth to others.Maybe something I've said could help but I realized we are all wired differently and my words may not be what you need to hear.
I hope many respond.Try to remember: We are spiritual beings moving through a physical existence; not physical beings striving for a spiritual experience.
At our core, we are spirit, not flesh.Phil
poster:Phil
thread:36505
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030201/msgs/36508.html