Posted by shar on January 18, 2003, at 0:57:47
In reply to Moving on from mental health forums?, posted by OddipusRex on January 17, 2003, at 11:39:41
> Does anyone feel like these forums may be causing more harm than good for themselves?
.........not me. for me, a lot of good, rare harm. definitely not more harm than good. better than most real-time relationships.
>I'm beginning to wonder if this is destructive for me.
............the great thing about determining this is that it is pretty straightforward, imo. If you stay away from the board and feel better, you have your answer.
>(I guess the ones that quit entirely wouldn't be here to answer.)
..........you'd make a good researcher. That's exactly the kind of understanding absent from a lot of social science research.
>
> Also I wondered if anyone has found interacting with people online improved their communication skills with people in real life?..........for this forum, improvement has been more in knowledge (knowing what I'm talking about regarding meds, etc.) and ideas (when someone has a great suggestion that I can talk about or pass on to someone else). I guess I didn't expect that it would improve my ability to communicate in real-time. I do want that improvement, and my solution has been going to therapy, especially group therapy where the emphasis is on talking and one-on-one relationships within the group.
>I feel really frustrated when I seem to be misunderstood online. And trying to clarify things just seems to make things worse. People in real life seem more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt without constant discussions of the meaning of civility.
...........well, the civility issue is pretty specific to this forum, so it wouldn't be prevalent in other places. Feeling frustrated when misunderstood is understandable, whether online or real-time. If you get the benefit of the doubt more in real-time, and communicating seems to flow more easily, maybe that deserves more focus, at least temporarily.
> Without putting PB down in any way could anyone tell me of other forums that have a gentle tolerant atmosphere? Or is the problem me and the answer just to toughen myself up?
..........yes, I think there are other places that pretty much eliminate disagreements, heightened emotions, etc. A lot of the suicide help web sites seem like that to me, an extremely gentle, soft approach. Very much focused on understanding, and somewhat diverse discussions (not just suicide, people talk about their problems). When my computer crashed I lost all my bookmarks, but I think a good place to start to find such places is www.metanoia.com because their links went to help sites. It would be interesting to see if you missed the stimulation of differing opinions, etc. As for toughening up, that can mean a lot of things. If it means learning new ways to stuff feelings, it's probably a bad idea. If it means becoming more confident in your own ideas, and more comfortable with dissent, then it can be a good thing. imho, of course.
> Also I've been trying to find internet sites that could provide creative outlets for isolated people. Does anyone have any ideas? I think it might be best to channel my creative energies into playing the recorder
........I play the recorder, and love it. I usually keep one in the car and play it while waiting at lights, in traffic, at the drive thru, etc. But, I don't know any recorder links, unfortunately.
..........I hope you find a good solution to your dilemma.
Shar
> Thanks
>
poster:shar
thread:35377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35430.html