Posted by mikhail99 on January 17, 2003, at 12:39:10
In reply to Moving on from mental health forums?, posted by OddipusRex on January 17, 2003, at 11:39:41
> Does anyone feel like these forums may be causing more harm than good for themselves? What kind of harm did it cause? I think I recall in passing that a couple of posters mentioned their therapists weren't in favour of their participating or that they were trying to stay away from the board for their own good. I'm beginning to wonder if this is destructive for me. At the very least I am spending a lot of time here that could be spent doing something else. Of course I can only make that decision for myself. And even if I decide it was harmful it's not always easy to take action. For example I decided to stop watching TV but then I find myself spending more time here. It's really frustrating to me. I was just wondering about other's experience. And if you decided it was bad for you was it difficult to cut back? (I guess the ones that quit entirely wouldn't be here to answer.)
I've found myself wondering similar things lately. I did mention this to my therapist but we didn't really discuss it in-depth. I guess maybe we should. I'm curious as to what he would think.
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> Also I wondered if anyone has found interacting with people online improved their communication skills with people in real life? I thought it would, but in my experience it's not the same at all. I feel really frustrated when I seem to be misunderstood online. And trying to clarify things just seems to make things worse. People in real life seem more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt without constant discussions of the meaning of civility. But now I wonder if they may be thinking something entirely different in their own minds. In a way the boards make real life seem more threatening than it was before. I guess my expectations were too high. Most of my interactions here have been on the admin board but I've read the others.I'm not sure if this has improved my communications skills (not that I thought there was anything wrong with them to begin with. HA!)but it has allowed me a chance to empathize and support and that's more social behavior than I do in the "real" world. And your post is giving us all something to think about, how we interpret posts and do we give people the benefit of the doubt? I guess I'm guilty sometimes of not giving the benefit of the doubt but I never just fire off posts without thinking long and hard about how they could be interpreted. I try to imagine how I would feel to be at the receiving end of my post and take it from there. At the very least, if things start to get ugly, it does challenge us to find a way to state things diplomatically AND to be kinder if the situation warrants.
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> Without putting PB down in any way could anyone tell me of other forums that have a gentle tolerant atmosphere? Or is the problem me and the answer just to toughen myself up?Being hypersensitive myself, I would NEVER tell anyone to toughen up. You may need to find a place that's a better fit for you but give the social board a shot and when you come across a subject that seems inflammatory, or a conflict that makes you uncomfortable, try to stay away from it. That's what I do anyway.
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> Also I've been trying to find internet sites that could provide creative outlets for isolated people. Does anyone have any ideas? I think it might be best to channel my creative energies into playing the recorder rather than helping Bob define civility :-). I like these two:
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> http://www.visualthesaurus.com/index.jsp
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> http://www.dolmetsch.com/method.htm
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> Thanks
>As for spending too much time on the boards, I'm just as guilty but I think it's pretty harmless. It's not like we're hanging out on pornography boards, right? :-) Seriously though, if you feel that it's become unhealthy for you to be here, then you should go with that feeling. However, please know that your posts are valued and you would be missed. I think for the most part, this is a good place to be and I really appreciate the challenges of communicating and different points of view.
I hope that helps (and that it made sense)!
Take care,
Mik
poster:mikhail99
thread:35377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030111/msgs/35387.html